Trials... Good or Bad?

Somethings just never seem to work out the way you plan. You face trials and hardships everyday! Some are big problems, and some are small. But no matter their size or importance, you still can get something out of it. But how do you learn from something that is hard? How do you learn from your mistakes? What if you just keep making the same mistakes over and over again!? How do you change? How do you turn your trials into blessings? Is that even possible?

I believe that every trial can be turned into a learning experience. Every time we are faced with a mountain that is harder to climb then the last one, we just have to keep climbing until we reach the top. It may seem like a far and long ways away, but if you just keep looking forward and up, and never look backwards and down, you will make it to the top. You will over come your trail and you will learn the lesson you needed to learn. I know that was a dumb analogy, but it makes sense if you think about it.

It is hard to go through life not knowing simple things, not knowing why you are here, not knowing what you are going to do in life, who you will become, where you will live, what you will do... Sometimes, I know I do, we feel lost. We feel like we have no where to go, no one to talk to, and we feel like we are alone in the world. And maybe we are. Maybe we will have to stand alone... Maybe we will have to make a stand against a friend, a brother, a parent, and go against what everyone around us is doing--what they say is 'good' and do what we know inside is the right thing to do. We may loose a friendship. We might have to let a relationship go, but those are trials that we need to be willing to face, to go through, if we are to find out who we really are. You can't live someone else's life and expect to become yourself. You have to find that out for yourself.

No one can tell you what to do, or how to be. You must decide that for your self. Being out of High School and starting my life as an adult has been hard. You loose the circle of friends that you grew up with. I know I feel alone a lot now. I feel like no one understands, like I am just another person out in this huge world. I know its not true, but when you go from day to day doing the exact same thing, it gets old... not having a close friend, a boyfriend, even just someone to go to with a problem that you want advice on-- its hard, but everyone is going to go through it in life. Its a trial we will all face eventually.

So are trials good? Yes, I believe that they will make you stronger in the end. You may not think so while you are facing them, but down the road, you will look back on them and you will know then what you might not know now-- that every trial was sent to you so that you could learn something. So that you could grow in ways that you otherwise wouldn't have. I am grateful that I have been sent the trials I am facing. Even though I feel alone, even though I am struggling in school, even though my life is not perfect, I know I am learning life lessons that I will use for the rest of my earthly life- and for that, I am thankful for every single one of my many hardships.

Am I alone?

You know those days when nothing seems to go right? Those days when no matter how hard you try to do the right thing, it still seems to be the wrong thing? Or when everything gets blamed on you for no apparent reason? Today has been that day.

I thought that life is supposed to get easier when you are okay with who you are and when you find a purpose for living. Well maybe I just haven't found the right purpose? Maybe I live each day for the wrong reasons? Maybe there is something else I should be doing-- something else I should be looking forward to each day? But if that is the case, what is my purpose? Do I really need to go back to the basic question of 'Why am I here?'

Life is full of lessons to learn, people to try and please and trials to face. But I am still young, I want to be young, wild, and free-- free to do what I want, when I want and not have to deal with daily problems. But I know I can't. I know that I have responsibilities. I know that I have obligations. But I need time to my self. I need to find out who I am before I can try to help others, and isn't that what everyone's goal should be? To try and always lift others up instead of seeking out ways to put them down? Maybe I am trying too hard to be something I am not, but what else can you do when the world is just pushing you down that path? What else do you do when you are standing alone, completely alone, in everything that you do? Being alone is hard. It is hard to not be liked by everyone. To have people who openly hate and mock you on a daily basis. It makes you wonder if the people who are your 'friends' really are, or if they are just like the rest of them. What do they say about you when you are not there? Are your secrets really safe with them? Who do you trust when you feel so alone? No one.

Choosing to be truly happy can be hard when there is so much trying to tear you down. But it is still a choice, a choice you ultimately have to make alone, and for yourself. Even if it means that you have to learn lessons the hard way, even if it means that when life throws trials at you, you face them with a good attitude, and you work through it and then move on. Choosing to be happy is the harder road in life. We all want the easy way in life, which is going to be choosing to let everything upset you. We all do it. We all have bad days. We all face trials and let them bring us down. But what if we don't? What if we take a stand against it? What if we choose to change?

I might be alone. I might not have the easy life. But I am strong because of my trials. I know that trials are just a bump in the road of life and with faith both in God and in myself, I can get through anything. It will be hard, but it will be worth every minute of it in the end.

So who do you trust? You!! What to do you when you are lost? Follow what is in your heart, what you feel inside and what you and only you believe you should do. Because who knows you better then yourself? No one! Don't let anyone guide your life. It is yours, so make it what you want it to be.

Change Has Come

One of the hardest things in life is change. Change in time zones, change in weather, change in friends, change in jobs... Change is just hard. The next hardest thing in life is having to say goodbye. We were given a new bishopric today in my Young Single Adult ward. It was so hard to say goodbye to the leaders I have grown to know and love. I know that I along with the rest of the YSA ward will miss those men and their AMAZING wives!! Having these new Priesthood leaders is a big change. I am nervous to see how next sunday goes.